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Newsletter: High Holydays 2003
Volume 3, Issue 3

The "Global Village" Congregation | Mazel Tovs | The Bridge by Rabbi Friedman
Torah Funds | La Shanah Tova

The “Global Village” Congregation
Temple Shabbat Shalom
Rabbi Aryeh Alpern

We dedicated this summer’s newsletter to Rabbi Edwin H Friedman, of blessed memory. The Rabbi was a major contributor to the theory and practice of family therapy. He was also the Nestor of Pastoral Counseling, writing Generation to Generation: Family process in Church and Synagogue, the basic handbook for clergy who counsel. The Rabbi also heroically took on the issue of interfaith marriage in his article The Myth of the Shiksa.

The following is another Fable by Rabbi Friedman. We look forward to your comments. 

We will spend the coming year studying the teachings of my mentor.

Selections from:
Friedman’s Fables
The Guilford Press New York London Copyright 1990

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The Bridge
by Rabbi Friedman
The Guilford Press New York London Copyright 1990

There was a man who had given much thought to what he wanted from life. He had experienced many moods and trials. He had experimented with different ways of living, and he had had his share of both success and failure. At last, he began to see clearly where he wanted to go.

Diligently, he searched for the right opportunity. Sometimes he came close, only to be pushed away. Often he applied all his strength and imagination, only to find a path hopelessly blocked. And then at last it came. But the opportunity would not wait. It would be made available only for a short time. If it were seen that he was not committed, the opportunity would not come again.

Eager to arrive, he started on his journey. With each step, he wanted to move faster; with each thought about his goal, his heart beat quicker; with each vision of what lay ahead, he found renewed vigor. Strength that had left him since his early youth returned, and desires, all kinds of desires, reawakened from long-dormant positions.

Hurrying along, he came upon a bridge that crossed through the middle of town. It has been built high above a river in order to protect it from the floods of spring.

He started across. Then he noticed someone coming from the opposite direction. As they moved closer, it seemed as though the other were coming to greet him. He could see clearly, however, that he did not know this other, who was dressed similarly except for something tied around his waist.

When they were within hailing distance, he could see that what the other has about his waist was a rope. It was wrapped around him many times and probably, if extended, would reach a length of 30 feet.

The other began to uncurl the rope, and, just as they were coming close, the stranger said, “Pardon me, would you be so kind as to hold the end a moment?”

Surprised by this politely phrased but curious request, he agreed without a thought, reached out, and took it.

“Thank-you,” said the other, who then added, “two hands now, and remember, hold tight.” Whereupon, the other jumped off the bridge.

Quickly, the free-falling body hurtled the distance of the rope’s length, and from the bridge the man abruptly felt the pull. Instinctively, he held tight and was almost dragged over the side. He managed to brace himself against the edge, however, and after having caught his breath, looked down at the other dangling, close to oblivion.

“What are you trying to do?” he yelled.

“Just hold tight,” said the other.

“This is ridiculous,” the man thought and began trying to haul the other in. He could not get the leverage, however. It was as though the weight of the other person and the length of the rope had been carefully calculated in advance so that together they created a counterweight just beyond his strength to bring the other back to safety.

“Why did you do this?” the man called out.

“Remember,” said the other, “if you let go, I will be lost.”

“But I cannot pull you up,” the man cried.

“I am your responsibility,” said the other man.

“Well, I did not ask for it,” the man said.

“If you let me go, I am lost,” repeated the other.

He began to look around for help. But there was no one. How long would he have to wait? Why did this happen to befall him now, just as he was on the verge of true success? He examined the side, searching for a place to tie the rope. Some protrusion, perhaps, or maybe a hole in the boards. But the railing was unusually uniform in shape: there were no spaces between the boards. There was no way to get rid of this newfound burden, even temporarily.

“What do you want?” he asked the other hanging below. “Just your help,” the other answered, “How can I help? I cannot pull you in, and there is no place to tie the rope so that I can go and find someone to help you.”

“ I know that. Just hang on; that will be enough. Tie the rope around your waist; it will be easier.”

Fearing that his arms could not hold out much longer, he tied the rope around his waist.

“Why did you do this? He asked again. “Don’t you see what you have done? What possible purpose could you have in mind?”

“Just remember,” said the other “my life is in your hands.”

What should he do? “If I let go, all my life I will know that I let the other die. If I stay, I risk losing my momentum toward my own long-sought-after salvation. Either way this will haunt me forever.” With ironic humor he thought to die himself, instantly, to jump off the bridge while still holding on. “That would teach this fool.” But he wanted to live and to live fully. “What choice I have to make; how shall I decide?”

As time went by, still no one came. The critical moment of decision was drawing near. To show his commitment to his own goals, he would have to continue on his journey now. It was already almost too late to arrive in time. But what a terrible choice to have to make.

A new thought occurred to him. While he could not pull this other up solely by his own efforts, if the other would shorten the rope from his end by curling it around his waist again and again, together they could do it. Actually, the other could do it by himself, so long as he, standing on the bridge, kept it still and steady.

“Now listen,” he shouted down. “I think I know how to save you.” And he explained his plan.

But the other wasn’t interested.

“You mean you won’t help? But I told you, I cannot pull you up myself, and I don’t think I can hang on much longer either.”

“You must try,” the other shouted back in tears. “If you fail I die.”

The point of decision arrived. What would he do?

“My life or this other’s?” And then a new idea. A revelation. So new, in fact it seemed heretical, so alien was it to his traditional way of thinking.

“I want you to listen carefully,” he said, “because I mean what I am about to say. I will not accept the position of choice for your life, only for my own; the position for your own life I hereby give back to you.”

“What do you mean?” the other asked, afraid.

“I mean, simply, it’s up to you. You decide which way this ends. I will become the counterweight. You do the pulling and bring yourself up. I will even tug a little from here. “ He began unwinding the rope from around his waist and braced himself anew against the side.

“You cannot mean what you say,” the other shrieked. “You would not be that selfish. I am your responsibility. What would be so important that you would let someone die? Do not do this to me.”

He waited a moment. There was no change in the tension of the rope.

“I accept your choice,” he said, at last, and freed his hands.

THE BRIDGE
MORAL: When things start going really well, watch out.

1. How would you get the man hanging from the bridge to take responsibility for himself?
2. How much responsibility does the man on the bridge have for the other?
3. Why is it so difficult to let go once we are experiencing “rope burn?”
4. What is a higher value, self-sacrifice or achieving your own salvation?
5. Why do the needy often get most needy when others around them are functioning best?
6. Why are the dependent so often calling the shots?
7. If the man on the bridge never got away, could the man hanging on the rope be accused of murder?
8. How does “The Bridge” get played out in families, schools, religious institutions, health-care delivery centers, business organizations, welfare programs?
9. Could both of thee men be the same person?
10. If someone came up to you and said, “Hold the end or I’ll jump," what would you do?

From Rabbi Friedman’s Discussion Questions to Friedman’s Fables copyright 1990
The Guilford Press

Send comments to RabbiAlpern@aol.com
518-893-0808 * PO Box 53 Porter Corners NY 12859

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Mazel Tovs

2003 Summer Newlyweds

2003 New Born

Happy 1st Birthday to Hannah Edelstein

Newest Congregants

2003 Newlyweds to be Fall

Happy Anniversary-Sept-December

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TORAH FUNDS

TORAH means the Teachings with a capital T and enlightenment. The history of Israel unfolds as we open the handwritten scroll and learn that we are part of the story.

The Torahs are the focal point within the Ark of every Temple. We dress the Torah with beautiful covers and silver adornments. We dedicate the Torahs to loved ones and their names and lives are remembered every time we use the scrolls.

Temple Shabbat Shalom is in need of Torahs. We have Bar and Bat Mitzvahs coming up. We have contacted scribes and are looking for three Torahs in the inexpensive category- which is still around $18,000 each.

Please look into your hearts and make the donation which will make the difference.
$180 general Torah Fund
$1800 for a crown
$18,000 for a Torah dedicated to a loved one

Please send your donations to:
Temple Shabbat Shalom
340 Plank Road, PO 53
Porter Corners, New York 12859

If you have any additional questions please contact Rabbi or Karen Alpern at 518-893-0808.

Thank you for your help in our ever growing Shul.
Sincerely,
Rabbi and Karen

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LA SHANAH TOVA

HAPPY NEW YEAR


MAY THIS YEAR BRING
LOVE, PEACE, HEALTH
AND
HAPPINESS


Rabbi and Karen Alpern

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We’d like to hear from all of you:
Rabbi & Karen Alpern
518-893-0808 or RabbiAlpern@aol.com

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